For Your Entertainment #1: Man vs. (vending) Machine
The story begins on a normal night, completely unremarkable. However, it happened to be the night that I had to pull an all nighter to finish a paper on ethics for my senior seminar class. After finding upwards of 10 sources (4 journals, 4 websites, 1 interview, and 1 Bible...for those interested), and creating quite the proficient outline, I gave in to the insistent naggings of my stomach. Proudly producing a $5 bill from wallet, I made for the forth floor vending machine with a slight hop in my step. I arrived, and true to my strategic self, I decided to cash my $5 in for quarters at the change machine adjacent to my buildings vending machine (after all, quarters are as good as gold on a college campus) But oh how I would come to rue this decision!
I cheerfully slipped the bill into the slot with smile upon my face. Rejected. It was an old bill after all, but nothing some slight flattening couldn't fix. The better part of 15 minutes went by with no luck. With all options exhausted (yes, even ironing it), I was close to resignation. But then I remembered the money we RA's keep in a hidden place from lockouts and such. Yes, there I would find my singles and change. There I could leave the damn $5 in exchange for something better. The best thing is, it worked. $4 in quarters and a $1 bill. I made way to the vending machine with that familiar hop returning. I immediately slip the $1 into the change machine and out slides 4 quarters. Palming the other 3, I go to insert the first quarter into the vending machine, and look! A fresh stock of the TGI Friday's Potato Skins. Score. Something's amiss? My quarter won't fit...
The change slot on the vending machine is jammed, and I just changed my only dollar. I produce my keys and unceremoniously jab them in and out of the slot. After several minutes of this I realize it is other change which is blocking the slot, a better option than say paper. Hope.
Another 5 minutes go by. I'm sweating. Annoyed. Hungry...and then a coin goes down the slot. Then another, and another. The key stab method was working, and the change was all falling into the return bin. Nearly $2. It feels clean, so I throw a nickel in to test it. It goes in! I then put in 4 quarters, and select A4 (the potato skins). I get a beep and a flashing "$1.00" sign. The change went in, but it didn't count. It wasn't in the return slot. It was just gone. That hope a minute ago gave way to an almost stifling despair. I went to the RA hiding place one more time. I had left a $1 there earlier. I placed 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel in its place, and returned to the damned machine. The bill slides in without event. A4. Bag of skins falls. Not exactly sure I can call that a victory, but 265 calories never tasted so good...
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